I’m Rosalyn Adekunle. I am an author, motivational speaker and mentor. For many years I did not value myself. I allowed others to measure my value. This is because I felt I came into this world flawed. I was born with all the parts but there was one part that did not work as well as others. Therefore in my mind I was of lesser value than others. When you look at yourself this way you can’t expect others’ opinion of you to be any different. As I experienced life, I realized that no one comes into this world without a flaw. For some, the flaw is more obvious than others but no one comes into this world without. There are those who don’t realize their flaws or know but try to hide them. Eventually, I realized we all come into the world flawed in some way, therefore we should all be valued the same. This brings me to the acceptance of others and acceptance of self. We ALL have areas of limitations but we all have areas of bountifulness.
Getting to this point of understanding can be frightening because you now have to focus on your areas of talent and skill, which means you now have to challenge yourself. You have to be introspective and make decisions on what you want to accomplish in life. You have to tear down all the obstacles YOU have created for yourself, become self motivated to achieve the desires of your heart and ignore the negativity of others. Allow your confidence and self esteem to shine. YOU HAVE TO TRY! Desire without action is failure.
To put what I am saying in context I want you to know, if you don’t already, I have nystagmus. I am telling you my personal story. When I started this conversation I talked of being flawed. My eye condition is what made me feel less than but I eventually learned to accept it and to focus my attention on the bountiful areas of me.
After reaching this epiphany I had to put it into action. I started with work on myself. I focused on my positive attributes. My appearance in the world, my moral and spiritual values and what I wanted to accomplish in life. I gave myself value (and a smile), which allowed the world to see my value. I started to associate with like-minded people, join organizations and causes that spoke to my sensibilities instead of being with people with a different value system just to fit in and belong to a group. All this took time but I started to enjoy being with me and liked who I had become. I started a new journey with baby steps. Yes, there were dark times and limitations that I had to address but I fought through and found ways around them.
I am continually on this journey. I am taking one step at a time. From the point of view of some my steps may be considered baby steps but for me I have stopped letting others measure the size of my steps and am satisfied that I am taking them. It may take me longer to accomplish my goals compared to others, but I feel good about myself because I succeeded and that is my focus. I appreciate others advocating for me but I feel good because I advocate for myself also. I’m no longer afraid to speak up and I know my worth.
My journey, my actions and the advice I have shared with you have led to personal accomplishments. I am the author of two children’s books. The titles are Patricia’s Story: First Day At School and the other Patricia’s Story: Everyone Needs Help Sometimes. The protagonist in the book is seven years old and has nystagmus. I wrote these books with the hope and prayer that they would stimulate conversation amongst parents and their children, teachers and students and others. The book’s main focus is building self-esteem and confidence in our children and the acceptance of others who are different from us. My main focus is building and sustaining confidence in my fellow nystagmites. Please know you are never alone on your journey and also know no one knows or love you like you know and love yourself.
by Rosalyn Adekunle
